3rd day

Well today was my third day at work. I have noticed how tired I've been lately - probably all the new stuff that is coming to me and just trying to process it all. Of course it takes a while to learn new things, but nevertheless it's still a bit stressing in the beginning.

I am getting used to the new workplace, which is good. Everybody has been really nice and helpful and soon I will have my own desk to work on. Today I had to take some calls, which I dreaded... They went ok, though. Except maybe that one lady got a bit frustrated at her end when I kept asking her to repeat the numbers (all numbers just got confused in my head when I panicked a bit:)

It feels there are a million things to do...Not enough time. Time is just an illusion, right? :)

Back to the "real world"

Well, today I wasn't able to lie in and live without a schedule, as it was my first working day for over 3 months! Felt a bit nervous and excited.
I got up before 6.30. I was determined not to be late - that would be kind of embarrassing...

Why does the week start and end in rain? Or is it just autumn?
Not very nice to get soaked.. arriving like a "uitettu rotta".. And of course as I had my first day, I was supposed to get my photo taken in order to get a security badge etc.
Luckily, they couldn't do it as they were missing some details so tomorrow then.
Hope I'll get my hair sorted a bit for tomorrow.

My hair is a mess.. I really really need to get to the hairdresser and get it done. The problem is just, that I don't know of a good place in Edinburgh as I've only been here for a relatively small time.
I like a good hairdresser with vision.. confidence and most of all - good listening skills!!
By this I don't mean that he or she would have to listen to my babbling, but listen to what I want to have done with my hair.
Surprisingly, this is not always the case.. You explain something, e.g. what NOT to do, and in the end they will do it or the result is a total opposite of what you wanted.
That can cause tears.... After an experience like this, I have been quite careful.

Well, my first day at work was quite nice. Got to meet loads of new people, and of course loads of information was given.. making my head spin.
The canteen looked really nice, and also the foods are very good - I heard.
That is a welcome change from what I was used to at my previous place....

So tired now. I cannot imagine the days are so short.
I worked from 9-17, back home at 17.40. Then some dishes... Then some food.. (+ some for the cats).. Then some laundry... etc etc..

Oh well, I guess I just need to be a bit more organized :)

Going home..

In about half an hour I am going to the airport.. 9 days in Finland.
I don't know what to think. Mixed feelings I guess... I always get the same "cold feet" before I am supposed to go there... Like I just don't wanna go anymore.
I suppose it will change. I'll just try to be flexible and not stress about family stuff....
Take some drops if needed!!

Oh no..... now I am really getting nervous about the trip. It's been 1,5 years since last time!

Drama queen

Thank goodness I didn't have to take Tom to the vet after all. Nothing wrong with him. I found out (or figured out) that he had been upset with me... I had ignored him for most of yesterday, told him not to jump on my lap since his nails needed clipping and were so sharp etc etc..
The poor little guy had felt hurt and put on his best acting skills.
Well it worked, and it reminded me how sensitive he can be!! R just commented "We don't need two drama queens in this house!" errr.. what would that mean??

Today my luck has turned... I got 3 calls from jobs I have applied so I remain hopeful!

Have to start preparing for my upcoming holiday....

Let go

What a crap day it has been. Because my PMS is now in full swing, I get annoyed by absolutely everything. It's not very good if the day starts like this.

I managed to be quite productive today. Cleaned and sorted out things, did some washing, hoovered.. Wow.
Opened some unopened letters (how can that be??) and even applied for a job.

I am obsessed about thinking why I cannot seem to get a job.

Then another blow.. Tom seems to be ill again!!!!!!
I cannot believe this is happening.
And R is not making things easier. I freaked out because I saw a spider, albeit a tiny one, on the desk and he thought I am spending too much time indoors.
Well, yes.. If I go out a lot to town, it just reminds me that I have no money to spend on.

Crap.. I feel so distant from him.

Jelly bean heaven

Yesterday was a nice day enough. First day of October.
We went to the Old Penang for dinner, with R's colleague M. I was a bit disappointed with the food though, not that it wasn't good. It was ok. But nothing special. I think I made the wrong choice, choosing noodles which was all cooked together in the spice sauce. Should've taken the Malaysian curry instead.
Afterwards we went to the pub for drinks.

Today, I went to get jelly beans for my nieces. I haven't seen them in 1,5 years.
It is about time.
I am fed up with R. His beer drinking, not cleaning the house. This weekend he said he would clean the cat litter (which he didn't do) + also hoover (which he didn't do). Surprise surprise.
I am so fed up....
I think I shouldn't calculate those days to my period, because I noticed I am in the dangerous PMS phase and I think it has an instant effect on my behaviour. Cos you think you are (and you are) premenstrual, you start to feel, think and act like one.
It's not good. Too late for me now, though.

Feel cold, isolated, lonely even. "Fed up" seems to be my main keyword or keywords to describe my feelings.

Tomorrow is a new day, though. I think another new moon.