Yes I'm still on holiday

Me and R came back from Copenhagen today. What a trip it was. So many nice things to remember on those cold wintery days to come later on..
Hotel was perfect.. I have never had such a fabulous breakfast at a hotel before. Or have you had "champagne breakfast" during weekends at hotel? For free? Included in the normal fare? No, I didn't think so either.
When I'm pleased with something, I am often very very pleased indeed. Hotel Axel Guldsmeden knows how to provide its guests with morning food. Saturday and Sunday there was smoked salmon and champagne on offer on top of the "normal stuff"
- Heavenly bread
- Wonderful coffee
- Delicious cheeses
- Fantastic vanilla yoghurt (the kind with dark vanilla specs in it) + honey with almonds to pour over it
- Chocolate and almond cake

etc etc

I ate too much though. I felt like a glutton.

Anyway.. Copenhagen is a beautiful city, nice buildings.. Sooo many hotdot places all over town. Danish people love their hotdogs. Sadly we didn't sample any this time, so I cannot comment on them further.

Service was a bit so-so in many places.. We had to wait a long time before anything happened in a restaurant. On occasions, I could've walked out and I'm not sure they would have noticed.
One of the loveliest meals I had was chicken tama rice in Wagamama (so delighted they had one in Copenhagen!). I was mega mega hungry when we arrived.. we got a table swiftly but then after that had to wait for a long time. Anyway, top marks for the food. First time I finished my plate!! I was just so very hungry you see..
Now I want to attempt to try the dish myself at some point, so impressed was I.

Talking to P. is always good. We talked about goals.. Me becoming a writer of some sorts, some day.. perhaps. He wants to take a writing course as well and was encouraging me to continue with mine, despite all the "difficulties" I have felt I had.
I'll see. I see if I could just do it. Not think but just get on with it.

Strange thing about the trip.. I witnessed so much open drug taking, drug selling, even a minor "drug fight".. all in the open, no police nothing. All from my hotel window. I never saw a police there.. but apparently there is a shortage of them in Copenhagen - or perhaps Denmark in general, so I guess in some places the druggies are left to their own devices as long as they don't bother you.

good night

I need a new job

Sadly I have found myself feeling negative about my current job.. and I feel tempted to make some changes. I hoped it wouldn't happen, but I can really blame myself?

It all comes down to the fact that it's not really my kind of thing. It's become a drag almost, at least the way things stand in the team these days. The tension, walking on egg shells and resenting certain individuals. Maybe it's time to move on.
There should not be a reason to struggle or feel that you are dragging yourself.

I should actually thank that idiot that got me upset today on the phone. I thought how small and sad his world must be, to get upset and shout at people like that. I just wanted to hang up, but I didn't. Well yes, thanks because it is an eye opener, it made me really think What Am I doing?

I still have my Writing Course. I could make something out of it. It doesn't have to be difficult, I don't have to be perfect straight away because I am learning, right?
In my dreams I become one of those writers who get these wonderful deals and start, well if not exactly churning out books then having a regular income at least.
What I need to do is make up some sort of an action plan, and just do it!!

Start making things happen and not just dragging myself on this path of eventual non-enjoyment!

All about dachshunds

Saturday was a really nice day. Actually the whole weekend has been very good, but Saturday was all about walking, hiking, enjoying scenes.. and all these dachshunds - or teckels if you wish.

So M, R and I headed off to the Pentland hills to do some walking. I'm so glad that I decided to take my hat as it wasn't actually a cold day to start with, but after a few hours walking when it became cloudy and windy, I started to feel the chill.
Anyway, the first of the teckels was a lovely 7-month old miniature dachshund who was indeed very playful and charming and red! It always brings a smile on my face when I see these little stubborn "sausage dogs" that have a mind of their own and a few tricks on their sleeve..
A little while later when we had done a circle and come closer to the lodge that I hoped would contain a nice little cafe (Not!) the next 2 teckles came marching along happily. They were normal size, I think but quite small still and I think it's the first time I met more than one dachshund in a single day. (After all they don't like rain and Scotland is a pretty rainy place in average)

Yes, no cafes in sight. No nice wooden lodge filled with good coffee and tea and homebaked blueberry pies... It was all in my imagination.
The walking did end to an inn, where I consumed a cup of very average and not very impressive mocha and R had his beer and M his hot chocolate.
Then the bus home and some nasi goreng on our plates.
What a hike. I cannot believe we actually did 16km!
My pedometer would have done a record on this one, I think - it's just that the battery had died and I haven't replaced it. But all in all, it's a lotta steps...

You need to leave my fridge, sorry :(

It was an end of a leaven. I hope not an end of a home made bread baking era though...

This jar that was started somewhere last autumn, had produced some fairly nice sourdough breads but then I left it. My weeks of bread baking frenzy seemed to be over, for a while at least. R kept asking how long "that thing" is gonna be in the fridge, taking precious beer space, and when/if I was actually gonna bake something with it. So yesterday I just said "ok, I will throw it away now.." I hadn't been refreshing it for a few months, which I think wasn't very good for the leaven. But it looks what they describe will happen to leaven that has been kept in the fridge for some time.. coffee like mixture floating on the top.

I did think of baking, but I just haven't had the same inspiration. I love Dan Lepard's writing and his Book "The Handmade Loaf" and I tried some of his recipes, but my sourdough bread never seemed to have that airy quality that is characteristic of those breads.
I still wanna try, but now it's time to try something different.
Maybe next time I will do a rye leaven and see what kind of breads comes out of that?

Today was Monday again.. One of the worst days to be working at where I work every day. Major problems, short of staff, stressed people around me.
It's not really worth getting upset about, is it?

I have more pressing things to consider. What to do with my life for example!
Like career wise for example! How to get that money flowing...

Watched "The Lakehouse" with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Everything about that film was perfect.. so beautiful. I nearly cried when I watched it. The emotion, the beauty. The way the nature was filmed. Everything.

Being busy

I actually went to work today... Got up early, at a time when I'm still normally happily away "in Feather islands". Fed the cats, got dressed and went out. It was raining a lot. It wasn't far away from p*ssing down. I thought for a second.. "am I crazy or what.. do I have a life..? why did I decide to do this?"
Well, £150 for starters... Seven hours of overtime will bring me that sum of money, minus taxes and then I'm done.
No more overtime.. for a while.

It's a nice feeling of being active, doing stuff. After work I came to town and decided to browse around in a few shops and just as I was leaving Laura Ashley's as I couldn't find anything in their sales, I stumbled across a pair of shoes, black velvet ones which are tied together with a ribbon and I just knew I had to try them on. What a bargain. Reduced from £60 to £18!
I took them and suddenly I was so hungry..

Luckily there's Henderson's just around the corner. It was very busy again, a long queue when I came in. But it gave me time to decide what I wanted from the menu. What I like about Henderson's is the food obviously but also the kind of "non frills" attitude, you know the wooden benches where you sit and munch your veggies and you can sip a glass of organic wine if you fancy.
Well I fancied a mushroom, feta and walnut quiche with salad which was quite a reasonable £4.95. Henderson's isn't the most cheapest place looking at some of the deals on the board but this was quite acceptable.
The quiche was perfect.. I have no complaints what so ever. And that is quite rare...
The only complaint is that they "forgot about my order ?) and I had to ask where the food was.
But the lady who brought it was so kind that I wasn't annoyed at all, I just looked at the plate and knew it was a nice one.

Whispering

This day was un-officially named as a 'non-day' in our humble little household - the day that never was.
Much was spent resting, eating, lying in bed, reading. Thinking. Thoughts.

Careful treading in your mind. Since I have stepped into the New Year 2007, I do consider past and present.. and of course future. As much as one could.

Stina Nordenstam is playing.. singing so softly that it's very dream like. Oh it suits today so well.
I like some of her songs a lot. Like Parliament.

Yes, it was a good day to gather your thoughts (as there was no hangover present - hurrah!).
My inner me was whispering to me gently, "do you think it would be a good time to let go of your old hurts?"
Yes.... why not. I realize a lot of my time is spent in useless hurt. Being hurt in one way or other. Being jealous. Feeling sad.

Yesterday I felt jealous.. So jealous. It took me by surprise. It brought tears in my eyes.
I went to the gym to sweat some of the things off the system and it helped a bit.

I'm not exactly sure how much of the current state can be put down to PMS. That thing I live with every month.
It's the monster that makes me feel sour. lonely. isolated. hurt. criticizing.

It's a terrible combo. I don't enjoy it.
Eat some magnesium and get over it.

I don't want to express my jealousy to him. I think it would be a weakness.
But I just don't think he knows at all how incredibly sensitive I am.. I am a true Cancerian. All soft and buttery underneath but carrying a shell of some sorts.
Would he be surprised if he knew? Why not just tell him?

Oh well.. just wait until I am post-pms and then have a look at things.

Sunny and cold

What a boring title indeed!
But I am freezing, so I am telling the truth here. And I have a headache. Not sure whether it's a hangover (from 2 glasses of wine yesterday to an empty stomach) or because I have a sort-of-a cold (you know the type that you feel kind of off - throat is not really normal and the occasional cough but you are not feeling that bad that you need to stay in bed)..... or whether it's just that it's all too much for me now.

What is too much? Well the whole travel thing. Getting my stuff ready for the trip of my lifetime. LA is waiting for me.... On Wednesday I board the plane towards the west (well first to south to London) and then I will make another change in my life.
How did I get stressed about that?

Cats are gone... It is so empty and quiet in the house. I hope they are doing fine and that they feel adjusted and ok. I felt like a real momma yesterday saying goodbye and all that.

Go away headache