Infatuation

So hungry today.. Hungry for food, sex, change in my personality... Life??
This could be the last day of my life, so yes.. hungry..

Last night I lay awake a long time.. thinking about the same ol' same ol'...
Wondering what can I do? Will things change? Will he want me ever, the way I want him.. and the way I want him to want me? See.. I am even dictating the way he should feel about me.
Maybe we are just so different.
It hurt me to hear that he used to feel a lot sexual with his exes.
But not with me. What is wrong with me?

Not with me. There is always something that is not for me.

This morning in the kitchen I thought what makes him turn on.. me in the kitchen.
Maybe I should dress up more sexily.

I feel so angry........ And frustrated.