Sunday, August 07, 2005

Where is the cat?

I feel like I am lost .. in the sea. So many opportunities to do stuff, see stuff.. and here I just am.
Is this what depression is? You just exist... you don't really know who you are and where you're going - this whole thing called life just cannot stop wonderingyou? Meanwhile, people elsewhere get on with their lives. And do stuff.

What am I supposed to do? Find the cat that went out about 4-5 hours ago and hasn't returned.
Bake something nice. Apply for jobs. There are loads of envelopes with application forms and I can't be bothered to even open them.

I don't know what to do.. how to get my zest back. Lust for life and living. I want to live, not just exist. I want to feel passionate.
I do feel passionate about him.. But I feel he is not completely there when we are making out or something. It's like he does that because he feels he has to, not because he really wants to. And even this I doubt, cos I cannot be sure. What the truth is?
I feel passionate but feel depressed how things are at the moment..


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